The next take down will be between Lyndon Johnson and Abraham Lincoln. Both of these men were tall, had huge noses and ears, could play the political game better than most, but lived inside their heads a bit too much. There are going to be limbs flying and probably some snot.
Finally, and admitting my bias, this next scuffle is my favorite. Harry S. Truman (#6) v Rutherford B. Hayes (#1). Both of these guys are BAMFs. Truman dropped two atomic bombs on the Japanese, causing destruction for generations. However, he was at a desk when it happened and didn't actually have to "push the button." And Hayes, oh man, this guy scares the crap out of me for his sheer bravery and ability to take a bullet and get back up. Hayes got wounded five times in armed combat during the Civil War. I said FIVE times! He, unlike Truman, was on a battlefield with not much more than a bayonet and he still fucked some serious shit up and lived to tell about it. These guys all have serious cajones and I have a feeling they'll do anything they have to in order to prove theirs are the biggest.
Vote:
#1 Rutherford B. Hayes - 19th President:
A lesser talked about President, Delaware-born Hayes was a Major General in Union Army. He was wounded five times (yeah, five times). Hayes earned a reputation for bravery in combat and was promoted to the rank of major general. His injuries included being shot in the shoulder and being thrown from a horse. BAMF.
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#6 Harry Truman - 33rd President: Truman is not someone you would want to mess with. He served in WWI as a Battery Commander and was able to maintain order of his division, which was known for its very poor discipline. He, of course, is famous for dropping two bombs on Japan - one in Hiroshima and one in Nagasaki that led to the end of WWII. Tensions during his administration with the Soviet Union following the aftermath indirectly caused the Cold War. With a record like that, he is likely to at least pull out a gun, knife, or nuclear weapon at the first threat of danger.
#2 George W. Bush - 43rd President: A former owner of the Texas Rangers, Bush was quite the party boy in his early life, known for having battled alcoholism and drug abuse. W. is well-known for pursuing a war to reconcile his Bush Sr.’s vendetta and there was some controversy surrounding his service in the National Guard based on the idea that Bush was given special treatment, higher rank, and a lightened workload due to his relations. W.’s early-life seedy affairs and waging an all out war under the auspice of American patriotism indicate that this guy would have little hesitation “shanking a bitch” for survival purposes or if they mess with his daddy.
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#3 William Taft - 27th President: Taft is the only President to also serve as a Chief Justice. He didn’t actually want to be President despite his predecessor’s Roosevelt’s strong grooming efforts who appointed him Secretary of War to prepare him for Chief Executive. Taft was a large man in deed and in stature, weighing in at 300+ lbs - he even had to special order a bathtub big enough for him to get in. His size and his determination position him well to fight the good fight, be it in a court room or in a Sumo ring.
#5 Abraham Lincoln - 16th President: Lincoln is known for his political savvy, intelligence, height, freeing the slaves, and of course being assassinated in a theater. He was mostly self-educated, and became a country lawyer and an Illinois state legislator during the 1830s. A man of many accomplishments, he also had much to tend to in his personal life, namely his clinically insane wife. Due to his preoccupations with Mary Todd and his notoriety for getting very lost in his own thoughts, Lincoln may not have been so focused on the battlefield (or in a theater).
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#9 Lyndon B Johnson - 36th President: Johnson was responsible for designing lots of frou frou, bleeding -heart legislation that included laws upholding civil rights, Medicare, Medicaid, environmental protection, aid to education and for starting a "War on Poverty." Johnson is also known for his escalation of American involvement in the Vietnam War, from 16,000 American soldiers in 1963 to 550,000 combat troops in early 1968, despite never actually “being at war.” That said, his own time on a battlefield was nonexistent. He may have been a man of strong words, but his deeds were weaksauce. Sending troops to fight in your war games doesn’t increase your chances of surviving when you are faced with actual combat.
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